This is a eulogy for my aunt, Lydia. She brought me up to be a Christian but I walked away from the church at the age of 12. I found myself unable to become the man she wanted me to be. This character is a reflection of me with my grief and uncertainty after her death. “...and a man very often lives on, imagining that he still hold intact the religious doctrine imparted to him in childhood, whereas in fact not a trace of it remains” (Leo Tolstoy, A Confession). I live on, without any trace of god nor her.